I had convinced myself that I'd be brave as I closed my eyes last night.
But the consolation did not last long. I am wanting to get away from here as soon as I can, as far as I can go from the loving sight of this intimate relationship they share. I am beginning to break down. Acceptance is HARD !!!
These tears are that of a child who has been waiting, hoping and dreaming all this while, creating and living in a world of his own, where an ocean of infinite love, intimacy and warmth flows. Opening my eyes this morning I see that the child is standing alone on the shore of that ocean unable to swim, tears clouding his vision of a lonely present and a scary future. He wants to express his agony, cry out aloud and even as he does that he know very well there is no one to understand the pain, wipe his tears, tell him 'you'll be fine'. 'Will there ever be one?', he asks. I do not have the answer.
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