And he cried...

I had convinced myself that I'd be brave as I closed my eyes last night.
But the consolation did not last long. I am wanting to get away from here as soon as I can, as far as I can go from the loving sight of this intimate relationship they share. I am beginning to break down. Acceptance is HARD !!!

These tears are that of a child who has been waiting, hoping and dreaming all this while, creating and living in a world of his own, where an ocean of infinite love, intimacy and warmth flows. Opening my eyes this morning I see that the child is standing alone on the shore of that ocean unable to swim, tears clouding his vision of a lonely present and a scary future. He wants to express his agony, cry out aloud and even as he does that he know very well there is no one to understand the pain, wipe his tears, tell him 'you'll be fine'. 'Will there ever be one?', he asks. I do not have the answer.

Again... May be its time for me to figure it !!!

36 hours after my first accident I can I am glad that it happened. Things may have been different if we had made that trip to Lake Tahoe; or may be not. Who can say?
I guess Time has given me the answer you see in my opening statement.

Not thinking or talking about it is the best thing to do. And so I will end this post here without any reason, any justification.

In closing, I pray for them and honestly hope they have a good life together or otherwise. As for me, I have to continue to wait and learn more may be. What I will do is take the time that I have to. And so I go to bed now.

Goodnight Rahul !!!